I lasted ten whole days, ten days in which all I did was get high and sleep all day. I mean I slept all fucking day and was awake all night. It wasn't working out the way I thought it would, in my head. I shouldn't be that surprised, things never seem to work out exactly how I think they will.
The only thing that worked in my favour was my that fact my Mother and I got on really well. Not one argument and we actually enjoyed each others company. unfortunately that wasn't enough. I was going out of my head with boredom and having no source of income or job prospects, were starting to make me feel genuinely depressed. There was only one thing I could think to do.
I booked a ticket back to Manchester on Thursday and arrived on Friday morning, just in time for my friends birthday party. It was the same friend that offered me up his spare room in the apartment he shares with his boyfriend. We talked about ways I could try and afford to live there, just generally trying to figure some stuff out.
I wasn't optimistic about it from the get go and once the high (metaphorical) of the weekend had worn off, I began to wonder if I had made the right decision. Dempsey and Ali are two of my best friends but living with them felt awkward and I felt it would eventually effect our friendship. So what else was there for me too do but book another ticket home. Once I had rebooked yet ANOTHER ticket I went to bed almost immediately and lay awake all night, thinking about what the fuck was I going to do?
I woke up early, packed and prepared to leave. But something was lingering, telling me not give up yet but I had no money, I had spent so much booking tickets back and forth that I was all tapped out, I couldn't stay where I was and I didn't want to leave. I called up my old landlord and luckily we managed to come to an arrangement. So here I am, back in the old house, in the same position I was just a few weeks ago. Except my entire family are probably very angry at me.
I need to make a plan, getting a job being the first one. Sorting my fucking life out is one.
However there were a couple of things I enjoyed about my weekend. I thought I would share with you.
I enjoyed a nice time with a boy on Saturday night and on Monday we enjoyed some of the Christmas rides and markets around Manchester City Centre. He is a friend of mine and it came out of the blue. But we had fun.
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Surprising everyone at the party was fun, no one knew I was back in Manchester except my friends Ali and Dempsey. Quite a lot of people showed up, I had taken Dempsey to dinner whilst the party was being set up and and he genuinely had no idea what was in store, he thought that Ali was cooking him a surprise meal.
I got to see some of the photo's from the shoot my friend Ben had bought me for my birthday. I am more than happy with them and I look hot, if I do say so myself. I am not going to post them on the blog itself. But if you would like to see them just drop me an email ian@mindofmine.co.uk and I will send you some of the shots. I owe him a major thank you/Christmas/Birthday present.
It is hard to have my head and my heart in two very different places.
