When January comes, we all tend to make resolutions, even if that resolution is to not make any at all. We want to lose some weight, cut our alcohol intake, quit smoking etc. Every year, we all do it. Even if we don't admit it to anyone or even ourselves.
But then there are those of us who make more radical resolutions. Sure I have quit smoking recently but that has been on the cards for a while, I have a real one, one I want to see through all the way to the end. I have been single for almost 3 years now. My last relationship ended in January 2009, after months of awfulness, I finally ended it. I was completely fine about the fact it was finally done with. Relieved even.
I turned 25 years old this past November and I would like to have my heart broken before I hit the ripe old age of 26. Which doesn't give me much time. I suppose you are wondering why I would want to go through something like that. Well, it is very simple really, I just want to experience it. I want to know how it feels to fall in love, make all these plans for the future and to have someone strip them all away and to not have any say in the matter. To get to listen to Adele and have a better understanding as to what she is on about, to cry because I get what she is saying so much - because I would have been there.
It might make me sound crazy but I think it might make me a more emphatic person, nicer and more understanding. It also might prevent me from being so closed off, I have loved before until it fizzled out and I couldn't stand it anymore. I haven't been the slightest bit interested in getting to another one since. I don't want to feel that way, I want to be more open.
I am not lonely, I have never been seriously lonely. But I do sometimes wonder that one day I might be and it might be too late.
So I have a few short months to meet someone, fall in love - head over heels in love, have them leave or cheat on me and for me to be an emotional mess. Listen to 'Someone Like Me' on repeat, in my PJ's - for days on end, eating copious amounts of ice cream and ya know going through the whole awful break up thing.
That is doable right?
